🔗 Share this article Navigating the Yearning for Casual Encounters Whilst Seeking a Meaningful Relationship Being a homosexual male approaching 50, my life has involved many, mostly pleasurable years engaging in casual sex with other men from my teenage years. In my 30s, I had a serious relationship which continued for four years, however it never fully satisfied me, in that I felt neither loved or intimately fulfilled. Truthfully, I have always craved uncommitted intimacy. Every time I begin seeing any man, once the newness fades, I always get the urge to have sex with new partners again. Questioning the Feasibility of Exclusive Commitment I am now wondering whether it's possible for me to sustain a faithful partnership. I understand that numerous gay men engage in open relationships, yet when I’ve witnessed them, they have seemed demanding, frequently resulting in significant heartache and envy among all parties. In many ways, I desire another man to love me while letting me pursue other intimacies, but I fear the emotional drain this might create. Is it best to keep having casual sex and acknowledge that a long-term relationship is not possible? I’m feeling somewhat confused. Every person’s intimate path varies. Try not to think about what you require in partnerships or your ability to handle various forms of intimate connections in a finite way. What you need in your current state could easily shift in the future; at a certain time you might become more decisive and find some clarity and a suitable route … or perhaps not. One day you could encounter someone who provides a transformative opportunity to you through mirroring what you want completely … and at another point you may choose that casual connections suit you best. Fretting over what lies ahead and engaging in endless speculation is simply anxiety-based and a waste of your energy. Try to be in the moment with your partners, and see the value of every individual with whom you might have a sexual connection. If and when the time is right to strengthen genuine closeness with a single person, it will be clear. Pamela Stephenson Connolly practices as a American therapy professional focusing on addressing intimacy issues.